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Valerie Rind

Book Interview: Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads: True Stories of Friends, Family, and Financial Ruin

Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads

Getting To Know The Author: Valerie Rind

Isaac

Today i’d like to welcome Valerie Rind, author of Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads: True Stories of Friends, Family, and Financial Ruin – Valerie how are you doing today?

Valerie Rind

Doing well, thanks Isaac! Happy to be here “talking” with your readers.

Isaac

I’m sure they’ll enjoy reading up on the interview! Now your book is centred around what you call ‘financial abuse’, is this an issue that is often overlooked in society?

Valerie Rind

Yes. We’re now aware of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. It’s a good thing that financial abuse is now becoming recognized.

Financial abuse can happen when someone close to you takes advantage of your trust and uses it to cause you a financial disadvantage. You might lose a lot of money or wind up deep in debt.

Isaac

Right, debt is an issue that is becoming more and more talked about in the media too, but i’m sure many people forget that debt can be caused by someone else, not just yourself.
The book is obviously inspired by your own personal experiences, what made you want to publish your story to the world?

Valerie Rind

I knew I wasn’t the only person in the world who made bad decisions or had awful financial things happen. So I wanted to show people they were not alone. I also aimed to help others avoid similar mistakes or wind up in the same situations.

But I had to take a lot of deep breaths before publishing the book, because it meant exposing a very personal and painful side of my past. However, I felt strongly that I could help other people.

Isaac

I’m sure that must have been difficult, but its a great step in getting the issue of financial abuse attention. Losing your life savings, not to mention the trust of your ex-husband must have been incredibly stressful, what helped you get through it most?

Valerie Rind

I was grateful for the support of friends and family. I’ve also been through some tough times in life so I had the strength to keep on going. But then, I didn’t really have a choice – I had to recover quickly and support myself financially.

Emotionally of course it was harder to bounce back than financially. You can always make money and cut back expenses. Breach of trust – now, that’s hard to recover from.

Getting To Know More About The Book

Isaac

Right, I’m sure that made you want to help others avoid that even more, there are few better motivators than survival. Onto the book, would you say it’s more anecdotal or educational? I’m sure you try to strike a healthy balance, but does it lean towards one more than the other?

Valerie Rind

The book focuses on the “train wreck” stories, all of which are true and based on my own experiences and those of dozens of people I personally interviewed. But there is definitely an educational component. I felt there was no use telling stories about for example loans to family gone bad without including some guidelines about how to do it right.

Isaac

You said you interviewed dozens of others for the book, was there a common denominator you may have noticed with all of their stories?

Valerie Rind

A frequent theme was that people blamed themselves for what happened. I felt in many places it was misplaced but I understand this is typical in all types of abuse cases. The victim thinks it’s their fault.

Isaac

As you said, you find that in all types of abuse, which just goes to highlight the emotional damage financial abuse can do to someone. What do you think is the biggest pitfall with financial abuse that most people fall into? Too much trust, improper education?

Valerie Rind

Wow, that’s a hard one, Isaac. I think because money issues are so personal and touchy in interpersonal relationships we avoid talking about key financial issues.

Isaac

Of course, just wanted to get your opinion on it as someone who has lived through it, and interviewed others who have too. Now winding the interview down, what do you want to be the key takeout readers get from your book?

Valerie Rind

We’re all products of our financial upbringing; the messages we received growing up and how we’ve made our way in the world. We need to keep those things in mind when we mix our finances with our relationships with friends and family. Money is ALWAYS personal.

Isaac

I agree with you totally, as i’m sure many others would too. Finally, if you could give an interested reader one reason to pick up your book, what would it be?

Valerie Rind

Without a doubt, they will recognize themselves or someone they know. Absolutely no question. When I talk about the book at a conference or in a group setting, I always see people nodding, with a slight smile. These financial situations resonate with everyone. Even you, I’m sure, Isaac!

Isaac

More than i’d like to admit! Valerie, its been a pleasure chatting with you and i’m sure our readers will be very interested in picking up your book Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads: True Stories of Friends, Family, and Financial Ruin – I hope you have a great day and thanks again!

Valerie Rind

You’re most welcome, Isaac! By the way, I’m writing a sequel, so readers can contact me through my blog or via email valerie@valerierind.com. I change all identifying details to protect the innocent (and the guilty).

Isaac

Hopefully we can get you back here for a follow up interview then! Until next time, take care Valerie.

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